We learn from our clients just as they learn from us. I have worked with a Director level leadership client recently who had a direct report that was very adversarial toward him. In their communications, this “Manager of Quality Assurance” would almost always want to take the opposite position to my client’s direction. They would fight and argue until eventually a decision was made as to what direction to take the energy of her Team. Eventually my client decided to go to her files and check on her history as far back as he could dig. When we met for our next session, he had discovered that she had a very disapproving father. Nothing she ever achieved or accomplished ever received her father’s approval. She was never good enough for him. She was always on the “loser” end of his perception of her. The reason she was constantly fighting was that she wanted my client (who was a symbol of a fatherly figure) to see that she had good ideas and could generate her own success without being micro-managed by my client. She was finishing her own work with her father through her boss.
So when he came to this realization, he was able to lighten up his tone with her and he learned to appreciate her contributions without taking everything so personally. So once J brought this direct report up early in our coaching sessions, he went out on his own to discover what we might call her “root cause” for her adversarial way. Eventually J was promoted and this direct report took his position as Director.
My point is that as J’s Coach, he and I merely stirred the pot. He went out and discovered on his own the blind spot just by searching in between our sessions. He also discovered that sometimes a “direct report” who appears not to be a team player, can ultimately be the best candidate to take his own job and serve to push him ahead as well. Way to go J!